Feeling better

Dear John,

I am feeling...great today. I shaved my legs, put on a skirt, swished my hips a bit on the way to work, never once even thought about sobbing, and stopped myself short when I realized I wasn't thinking about you (but then it started me thinking about you but you know...).

I can't really figure out why! Here are some bluffs:

• Gossip Girl was on tonight, and I was looking forward to extreme (gross? on-too-early-in-primetime? HIGHschool?) sexiness all day
• Coffee for the first time in a few days
• I danced yesterday
• I signed up for a Pilates fusion class with my mom
• I saw some hott girls last night
• One particularly hott one gave me super-good ice cream therapy Saturday night
• Uhhh... I talked to you on the phone yesterday

Yeah. It was great talking to you. Except, I freaked out when you actually answered (expecting voicemail) and we talked about music for half an hour, since I couldn't remember what I wanted to tell you, and then you had to go.

And I feel kind of bad that I feel SO MUCH BETTER after talking to you. Woooosh that huge boulder of I'll-never-see-you-again-my-life-is-ruined-what-are-you-doing-with-your-life-how-are-you-feeling-without-me finally flew off of my shoulders. Probably to land on one of my other of what seems like hundreds of girlfriends that have recently been broken up with.

Even though we didn't get to finish our conversation (and I was too chicken to say everything I really wanted to), I feel almost no desire to talk to you today. I am feeling extremely confident and you know, if you want to talk to me, you can.

(So I'll be here. Sitting online. Waiting for you to IM me. You know, if you're interested. No big deal. I'm confident.)