Sex and the City

It's almost cliche how much that fabulous show and now movie have become an icon to represent young women's dating lives. It's a guilty pleasure of mine, but I'm not so sure why I feel guilty.

A poignant quote from tonight's rerun on the CW:
"Saying I love you is easy. What comes next is a little scrunchier."

My immediate thoughts afterwards:

• ew! Scrunchies!
• Aw, so true.
• Man, I love my boyfriend.
• I can't believe that I have a boyfriend.
• I want to see that movie again.
  
• I want to blog more about SATC.
• I miss New York.
  
• ew! Scrunchies!
  

ah, JMU...

It feels just like New York.

I was walking past the tennis courts, where a bunch of Spanish-speaking guys were playing soccer. As I strolled, excited about my last year at JMU (eek!) and my awesome job and job training (why I'm here so early), the men started making kissing noises at me.

Ah, it was like I was back "home" in Brooklyn.

The kissing noise. Best way to attract girls anywhere. Ahem.

The Paradox:

When I'm feeling my worst, boys pester me more.

I went to go meet my mom's bus at Penn Statioin when she came to visit me. But it was right after a nap, so I threw on my JMU sweatshirt (complete with a pink paint stain of some sort), wiped the excess mascara out from under my eyes, and trudged into the subway system.

"Hey, purple's my favorite color!"

Really? It is? Well thank goodness I wore it!

It ended with multiple kisses on the cheek. I don't know how I let myself get in these sketchy situations.

Then the other night, I went to go buy MORE TOILETPAPER (seriously) at like midnight around the corner. I was pissed off and in a rush to, you know, pee? And then go to bed?

"Have a good night!"

(mumbled) "Thank you!"

"I SAID good NIGHT!"

(angrily - bad idea at midnight in a vaguely sketchy-looking neighborhood, I know) "I said you TOO! THANK you!"

And I kept walking, after two other younger 20-something guys snickered. Little did I know, when I would come back around that same corner, conquest in my posession, the same guy would still be there.

As he approached me, giving me a second chance with "Have a good night!" I just straight out asked him whether or not he said hello to every girl in the city, or do I have something on my face that says "Well hello there! I'm from out of town! Specifically, the south! I am a friendly person!" even when I think I've mastered the "Get out of my way. I'm a disgruntled/busy New Yawker" face. While I was blabbering on, he was stumbling over words himself about being 40 and living in the same apartment for 10 years and he doesn't talk to every girl and maybe could we get together for-

No! I refused to be picked up past midnight by undatable, creeptastic men. Refuse! I'm trying to raise my standards here! (Okay, maybe if he had been in his 20s...still probably a bad idea).

So, I think every guy who makes a little cat call or says something to me, I'm going to poll him: is it me? Or is it the city? Or is it you? It must be exhausting talking to every pretty girl here. Lawdy knows there are a lot more of 'em than pretty (straight) men.

And the lesson I learned from this that one of my guy friends tried to convince me was true just a few weeks ago: You don't need to try to get a guy's attention. It's the lack of effort that turns guys on.

So now I have to try to not try? That's when I pretend to not be looking for dates because, well, they always show up when you're not.

Hi-larious Linkage

Living, uh, I mean working, in the blogosphere all day long, I have realized that I have laughed out loud to funny Web stuff less and less. But this Gawker posting about this New York Post article about a Cosmopolitan article had me covering my mouth and snickering - although my office pretty much encourages laughing out loud at all times.

So hey, why not add fuel to the online fire and spread the word?

Back to lame/weird/funny NYC boys later.

A totally unplanned post...stream of consciousness? Eek!

I'm dying to write about something. Anything to keep it up and improve my like totally mad skills. But I have nothing relevant dating-wise.

For once in my life, here in the place where there are probably the most diverse, most forward, most plentiful amount of men/boys, I am not concentrated on them at all. I am already stuck in a rut, assuming that all the attractive ones are gay. Or taken. I am surprised at the number of couples I see roaming this city.

My friends have been comparing me to Carrie from Sex and the City a lot lately - holy crap am I flattered - but I just don't know how it is possible. Albeit, it was a TV show, a piece of fantasy, but she just so easily found eligible bachelors around every corner.

The ticket I need to find eligible bachelors? A fake ID. I can't get into bars. No where here has an 18+ night. But everywhere has an intern special night. What interns are over 21 anyway? Already graduated ones? Lame. One month to go and I loathe my under-21 status more than ever in my life. Even though the majority of guys who (creepily) hit on me must be at least 35.

Though I did get a nice/non-creepy comment today. I was in Duane Read, searching for some contact solution that has evaded me on every other shopping trip.

"Excuse me, miss?" he said. "I like your hair. Very pretty."

Maybe he's figured out the secret to non-catcall-sounding commentary. Pick what is attractive, and be specific. As long as it isn't a body part that has been given a crude nick-name or two (yeah, sorry boys, I know this leaves you with very few options).

Anyway, to continue with the randomness, I've been thinking about the ex a lot recently. (Please notice, if you click through, that those posts were from just about two years ago. Yeah. That's why it's so lame that I've been thinking about him so much lately.)

We only chat twice a year on each other's birthdays that so conveniently fall six months apart; another reason why I cannot wait for mine to come. I wonder if he's having commitment-phobia issues too because of me or not. Dare I bring up these touchy subjects? One of my best gfs (who somehow has been "in love" twice - actually, now that I come to think of it, my younger sister has too. What gives? Once has already been too much for me. ANYWAY!) says that because I'm still thinking/pondering/worrying/wondering about him means we're "meant to be." And that I must contact him as soon as possible. I'm not sure if his current girlfriend would much appreciate that. Or that he would either, considering that it is almost his turn to be the contact-er, not the contact-ee.

Or maybe I'm just feeling like a victim of mild loneliness in this big, bad, fabulous, amazing city.

Boys as Roommates Part 2

Somehow the boys and I are on our third roll of toilet paper in as many days, which is annoying - since I bought the toilet paper assuming, as the girl in the apartment, I would be using it the most - and gross - considering I only use the apartment bathroom like twice a day.

(For I am far to busy being glamorous in the city to stick to the comforts of home of course!)

Boys as Roommates

Doesn't seem like such a bad idea. In fact, I think it has worked really well. I have two. Boy roommates that is. They are both very neat and clean, and actually living with boys makes me feel safer in this big, bad new city! One is almost always at his girlfriend's, so I rarely see him. The other is very quirky, friendly, nice, cool, chatty, and, I have come to learn, a creepy womanizer.

He spoke of a girlfriend when I was visiting to sign the sublease, though it seems this was not quite true. The other night he said he was going to have a friend over, and I was totally fine with it (after all, I had a fabulous friend visit me this weekend!) . I decided to go to bed early, but I am genuinely a heavy and low maintenance sleeper, so I told him not to worry about being quiet.

Maybe I should have been more specific.

I heard the friend come in, and them chatting and stuff, but then I fell asleep. I woke up a bit later to some moans and groans. I thought I was having an awkward dream. His music was turned up loud but she was louder.

The next morning - feeling awkward of course - he asked me if he had been too loud last night. I wanted to avoid an even more awkward conversation, so I just feigned sleeping through the whole night. But he continued, bordering on the ickiness, "really? Because I know this girl's a loudmouth! She's originally from Israel but she grew up on Long Island." Ha...ha...ha...oh those crazy Long Island girls?

So later we were having a general conversation about dating and creepy guy calling me four times in one day...and then two times two days later...and leaving a really long creepy voicemail two days after that.

"Yeah, I'm dating this nice French girl right now, but I'm not going to like, you know, show up at her job. She works at a woman's clothing store! It'd be so obvious that I wasn't there to shop! I don't want to be pushy," he said.

Hmm, well he's doing a good job not being pushy while he's pushing into someone else. Poor French girl!

Good thing he's too short and too old for me. Great roommate, horrible dater.

Can I getcho' numba girrrrl

I love New York City.

I got asked out twice in one day.

Now, I don't say this to brag - just as a fact. A surprising fact.

How did I respond? Well, I gave both of them my number, but I wasn't particularly interested in either. Do I:

a) take the free drink/coffee/dinner date
b) don't call them back to not lead them on
c) be adventurous and give them a serious chance
d) be wary because there are a lot of creep-jobs out there

Number Guy 1 called four times while I was at work today. Only left one message. That kiiiiind of leads me to go with choice d). Good idea?

Types Part 2

My current (celebrity, totally unrealistic) crushes:

• Dane Cook
• Conan O'Brian (weird! I know...but the more I watch, the deeper I fall)
• Zach Braff (I've been watching "Scrubs" far too often. And every time I feel nostalgic/emotional at the end of the show)

I know there are a lot more. I don't know how they are possibly escaping my mind.

So, the trend you ask? They are all comedians. Loud, outgoing, borderline on the awkward (but embracing the awkward!) guys.

The other night a Conan rerun was on, and Eva Longoria was the guest host, and Conan was all flirtatious with her. And I was jealous. I mean, really. Jealous? Silly. Really, I've been watching too much TV.

I was telling my girlfriends last night about not-my-type-boy, and the way I described him was "Yeah, out of the two of us, I'm the funny one. I don't know if I like that."

"That's a shame," one responded.

"Yeah, I know!"

"...because you're not that funny!"

Yeah...I know. Thanksssss.

But hey, he's a nice guy.

But, hey! I'm in a whole new city now. And according to my equally adventurous soon-to-join-me friend, we will be finding New York City MEN, not boys.

Types

My dad and I were having long, obscure conversations, as we usually do, on our drive up to New York (where we finalized a place for me to sublet for the summer! yaaaay! So look forward to NY vs. VA boys :)), and we started talking about types.

Mostly because I've been on a few dates with a boy now that "isn't my type," as I've been fond of saying recently, but is of the typical hottie genre that makes up probably the majority of girls' type. I think it's his typical-ness - strong jaw line, short sorta-spiked hair cut, tight shirts that reveal a very nice physique - that makes him not my type. (I know, I know, what's wrong with me?)

Ah! And he just called. Awkward blogging karma?

Anyway, so my dad's natural question - as is yours, I can so clearly tell - "What IS your type?"

I tried to define it. I really did. But I could not put into words, much less a specific category.

I used to think that I didn't have a type. Or maybe that my type was "any guy who talks to me." My friends have told me for years to raise my standards from "any guy who talks to me," and I'm trying! Really I am! Now it's "any guy who talks to me, and seems to have a romantic interest in me."

The types I have dated (sorry to put anyone, especially these poor unsuspecting guys, in a general category):

• a drama nerd
• a bad-boy punk
• a self-described redneck
• a spotlight-hog (like myself! and so happens to be the First Love)
• a not-so-intelligent class clown
• a skinny aspiring singer/songwriter
  
• a tall nautical man (okay, so I'm having type-ing him. He was cute though. very. More cute than hott. Shaggy-hair cute. mmm... perhaps shaggy hair is my type!)
• an a capella singer (one of my goals in life ACCOMPLISHED! the other goals - varsity sport player, cowboy and bass player, are all on their way I'm sure)
• a (kind of) preppy pretty boy
• a "nice guys finish last" nice guy
  

So, where are the similarities in this list?

Well, each of these guys did make the move on me first. They are all confident and friendly enough (in some circumstances, unfortunately, it turned out they only had those traits when under the influence of alcohol) that they could approach me. All but two of them picked me out; approached me out of the blue. The two that I happened to choose were First Love and D3 (kind of preppy/pretty), but once I picked them out from afar and subtly did the flirtatious thing, they picked up the initiating slack.

Basically, my type seems to be the initiator. Is this good? I am generally of the mindset to give guys the benefit of the doubt and sort of date anyone who is willing to date me. As I widen the pool of suitors, it improves my chances of finding a good one, right? But I can tell you that I have had the most fun with and actually liked FL and D3 the best.

Perhaps a type isn't that important. But one thing's for sure, unless I want to be stuck with guys who are kind of cool but I don't really care that much about for the rest of my life, I need to start picking and stop only letting myself be picked.

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P.S: military guys/men in uniform. Does that count as a type?

P.P.S: Does everyone else have a type that is easily described?