Girl Crush

I - I don't know, judge me if you must - develop a lot of girl crushes. There was one today on the metro. She was wearing the cutest little shift dress, with sandals just like the ones I bought yesterday, and similar curly hair to mine, but much shorter (maybe my crushes come purely from vain). But! So out of character for me, she had a huge tattoo on her arm. Not quite a full sleeve, but definitely not cover-up-able. She also was sporting the cutest indie-chic big, bulky headphones, kind of bopping her head to the music a bit.

Actually, when I saw her, I thought "this is the kind of girl my boyfriend would LOVE." I don't even know how I could assume that - except for the fact he's a hippie-ish music lover with a tattoo - but I did. And annoyingly - and also so out of character for me - I began to feel insecure. Like me, the conservative Christian girl who would never ever get a tattoo and occasionally enjoys Top 40, should never deserve his indie-open-loving affection.

I dated this guy freshman year for like two seconds who was a pretentious musician wannabe. He was skinnier than me and thought smoking cigarettes would be good for his image and one of the other guitar-players on our hall called him a "whore" because he tried to play his guitar for anyone at anytime. A million girls had crushes on him and I could feel the hearts breaking around me when he played at the campus open-mic. At the time, I was proud that he "picked" me. But I was also weirded out - what would a guy like him want with a silly, preppy, conservative girl like me?

I've always said that I don't have a type. Maybe others stick to their types less, and I should stop stereotyping and start enjoying.

Pheromones

I think they're stronger than we assume.

I read this fantastic article that my friend drew my attention to (Oh she knows my interests so well!). It had a lot to say about how science, genetics, carnal instinct, and dating culture all inter-relate.

Why do we like kissing? Because saliva helps us sense the best DNA to mingle our own with.

How do men become subconsciously more attracted to fertile, ovulating women? It's in our scent.

There must be some hormone I released once I was more single than usual lately (it's a long story about stupid boys who are stupidly far away and me being smart and sticking up for myself). After this bit of heartache, I wanted to take a break from boys, I really did. One of my informal New Year's resolutions was to put less emphasis on boys (including just flirting for flirting's sake and especially ESPECIALLY to not date another boy at JMU. They're just too lame).

But like I predicted, that resolution lasted for oh, about fifteen seconds. Not my fault!! Out of nowhere, boys - both old and new - came to bug me. (Who am I kidding? I love it.)

A guy I met at a bar over winter break invited me to come back up to DC for his birthday party.

Another (mmm...military) guy I met at a club like nine months ago IM-ed me out of nowhere. For some reason I have a special place in my heart for boys in Maryland.

One of my former hall mates, who I've always had an attraction to, revved up the flirting last week. (But apparently he's been revving with several girls recently.)

Last weekend I ran into a guy I dated sophomore year for a bit. He looked seriously good. And he said all the right things. And I questioned why I didn't hold onto him a little bit tighter back in the day.

And then tonight, I heard from some boy I met on the metro a couple summers ago. Random, not too flirty, but then he never was too obviously flirty. He invited me to do a stop-by visit if I was ever in DC.

Did they smell my pheromones - even though most of them are at least 100 miles away? Could they subconsciously tell I was trying to give up on them? Are they a distraction from my goal; a temptation to give it all up? Or are they a reminder that it's futile to stop caring about having a boy in my vicinity? It's our evolutionary goal in life, after all, to find a mate whose DNA will mix with ours to create the perfect offspring.

Maryland is calling my name. Not quite sure why. (Well, okay, perhaps it is because he came to visit. Him and some friends drove down to meet some friends and come to my roommate's birthday party. When I invited them, I had no idea they would actually come. But I am extremely glad they did; I had an amazingly fun time thankyouverymuch.) My friends and parents tell me I only like unavailable men. I suppose this includes the geographically unavailable. Of course he would - out of all the long-distance guys I could potentially date - have the strictest visiting schedule. But considering I refuse to date JMU guys the remainder of my time here, what other choice do I have but to travel?

Like I have commented on before, the military just trains good daters anyway. He is legitimately more respectful and attentive from 150 miles away than maybe any other guy has treated me.

Buttttt if I do hang out with the JMU guys who have reappeared, it doesn't count as breaking my resolution right? Since I have already dated them?

Eesh. Maybe I should go back to rejecting all boys.

Ha, yeah right. That time carnal instinct let that thought last only five seconds...

Sparkly and New!

I figure the eve of a new year and a new semester is as good as time as any to start a new (more mature?) blog .

My affair with Blogspot began this summer as I rode the metro every day to and from my first full-time job (okay, internship, but still - 40 hours a week!) and gobbled up the Washington Post Express and its witty writing and even wittier mentions of blogs so often hosted on Blogspot. It expanded to reading DCblogs on occassion. And now that I get less and less feedback from my xanga (as I push up my nerd glasses, since me and my friends all got one in high school and I'm the only one that still keeps up with it); I noticed that Blogger is now somehow connected to Google (what isn't connected to google now?); and I already went through a huge change getting a gmail account earlier in this year (I don't adapt to change very well) - I decided it must be fate!

I promise I usually don't write in extreme run-on sentences. Actually they're usually quite short. And hopefully witty.

Anyway, it is winter break, and I plan on writing a lot. All while taking dance classes and searching for summer internships so I don't turn into a lazy bum.

Get excited!