Sensitive Boys ... by Island Girl

Island Girl is one of my best friends from high school and we've been lucky enough to remain close and at the same college. I love her! You should love her too:

Call it a tragedy, but I always fall for sensitive boys. They tell me their feelings and we frolic in the land of emotion together. Eww. It's disgusting, and sadly I think I've subconsciously programmed myself to hone in on these boys.

It makes sense though. Women were created to be nurturers; we are loving and caring creatures. Attentive to the problems of the weary and the sad in spirit. Call me a Suzie Sunshine, but I love making people happy, cheering up their day, and putting a smile on their face.

Sensitive nice guys love this about women like myself and whether or not they know it, they enjoy it selfishly. I can't generalize, but most sensitive guys I've come across are only concerned about one thing- using you as an outlet to express their problems and feelings.

Obviously they can't express their feelings to their bros because that'd be emasculating, so they come running to the Suzie Sunshine in their life, pull up a chair, bring the tissues and dish.

I asked one of my good girl friends why she thought I was attracted to these kind of guys and why they were to me.

"You're a problem solver. You like to fix things. Guys come to you with their problems, you listen and offer advice."

ah-ha! So, those sensitive guys fill my need to be needed and I fill their need to be listened to. It seems so simple and black and white, but feelings always get involved and mix things up.

Prime example:

I had developed a friendship/relationship with this guy and we became pretty close. Our friendship developed during a time when he was having a hard time with his emotionally void girlfriend and I provided an outlet for his emotional needs.

This was the perfect situation for a Suzie Sunshine like me: This boy needed me! I loved being able to be there for him. Needless to say, I fell hard for this boy.

This went on for three months; then, nothing.

He broke up with his girlfriend, which I coached him through (ugh, so pathetic, I know), and all of a sudden, he didn't need me anymore.

humph.

Being the emotionally eager individual I am, I didn't realize his selfish demeanor until he IM'ed me last night

emotionally needy boy: we never talk anymore :(

(a month and a half since we've talked)

We talked about HIS day, how HE was doing, how stressful school was going for Him, etc. Common theme: All we talked about was him. Honestly, not once in an hour and a half did he ask a single question about me.

I'm not mad at him, or the situation. I just think its funny and maybe a little eye opening. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he was intentionally being selfish, but I certainly don't want to play these games anymore, it's too emotionally frustrating.

I love forming emotional connections with the opposite sex, but it comes with dangerous territory.

My problem now is this: how do I emotionally connect with a guy in a way that doesn't drag me down or better yet, how do I stop emotionally investing in someone who won't invest back?