A totally unplanned post...stream of consciousness? Eek!

I'm dying to write about something. Anything to keep it up and improve my like totally mad skills. But I have nothing relevant dating-wise.

For once in my life, here in the place where there are probably the most diverse, most forward, most plentiful amount of men/boys, I am not concentrated on them at all. I am already stuck in a rut, assuming that all the attractive ones are gay. Or taken. I am surprised at the number of couples I see roaming this city.

My friends have been comparing me to Carrie from Sex and the City a lot lately - holy crap am I flattered - but I just don't know how it is possible. Albeit, it was a TV show, a piece of fantasy, but she just so easily found eligible bachelors around every corner.

The ticket I need to find eligible bachelors? A fake ID. I can't get into bars. No where here has an 18+ night. But everywhere has an intern special night. What interns are over 21 anyway? Already graduated ones? Lame. One month to go and I loathe my under-21 status more than ever in my life. Even though the majority of guys who (creepily) hit on me must be at least 35.

Though I did get a nice/non-creepy comment today. I was in Duane Read, searching for some contact solution that has evaded me on every other shopping trip.

"Excuse me, miss?" he said. "I like your hair. Very pretty."

Maybe he's figured out the secret to non-catcall-sounding commentary. Pick what is attractive, and be specific. As long as it isn't a body part that has been given a crude nick-name or two (yeah, sorry boys, I know this leaves you with very few options).

Anyway, to continue with the randomness, I've been thinking about the ex a lot recently. (Please notice, if you click through, that those posts were from just about two years ago. Yeah. That's why it's so lame that I've been thinking about him so much lately.)

We only chat twice a year on each other's birthdays that so conveniently fall six months apart; another reason why I cannot wait for mine to come. I wonder if he's having commitment-phobia issues too because of me or not. Dare I bring up these touchy subjects? One of my best gfs (who somehow has been "in love" twice - actually, now that I come to think of it, my younger sister has too. What gives? Once has already been too much for me. ANYWAY!) says that because I'm still thinking/pondering/worrying/wondering about him means we're "meant to be." And that I must contact him as soon as possible. I'm not sure if his current girlfriend would much appreciate that. Or that he would either, considering that it is almost his turn to be the contact-er, not the contact-ee.

Or maybe I'm just feeling like a victim of mild loneliness in this big, bad, fabulous, amazing city.