VD PS

My dad told me just now that my mom asked him to be her Valentine.

AND classes have already been cancelled tomorrow due to inclement weather.

There is hope in the world for love!

Valentine's Day

As the sign outside of our bookstore says, "Valentine's Day is coming. Consider yourself warned."

As one of my guy friends' away message has said for the past couple of days, "Valentine's Day is coming. ew."

As I say, "It's February! That means Valentine's Day! Yaaay I'm so excited!"

Although it is true I have very rarely had an official Valentine, I have always been a big fan of Valentine's Day. Although some say you should celebrate love year round, or that it is a fake Hallmark Holiday, I think it is a fun way to spice up the winter and show everyone, or anyone, that you care about them.

Last year my suitemates and I gathered a big group of guys and girls and went out to a fancy restaurant. One of the guys was maybe jokingly my valentine. Maybe it was a joke, I'm still not sure. When he gave me a card later that was quite poetic, I was sure it was for real. But when I reread the very lyrical and cryptic writing, I was pretty sure he was saying that he was not ready to be my valentine. Or something silly like that.

Two years ago I got diagnosed with mono on Valentine's Day. So technically I was home to visit my long-distance boyfriend, although smooching could not really ensue. The year before that, same boyfriend, different non-smooching circumstance: we had a choir performance on Valentine's Day.

The year before that (yes, this is going back four years ago; alllll the way back into high school!) I decided Valentine's Day was the day I was going to make a move on my English Class Crush at a basketball game as I danced at half time (he had been coming to the games every Friday). Instead, he was out and about with his real valentine, and some other guy I wasn't really interested made his move and we ended up vaguely dating for a while.

Probably in the years before that I was still in the "I'm going to wear black and act all emo and bitter about Valentine's Day" stage.

But if you bring it all the way back to elementary school, I was the girl the most excited about giving everyone valentines, even if I was nervous about giving the boys one (even though we were required to give one to everyone if we were going to give any at all!).

Valentine's Day! I love it I love it I love it. But the question is; does anyone ever seriously claim valentines? If you're not in a serious relationship, do you still ask a potential date to be a valentine?

Is this a planned but unspoken thing, as in you plan for a date on Valentine's Day?

Or is it more like a silly 7th-grade-dating thing, as in [in a nasally voice] "Will you be my Valentine?" and then never really do anything about it?

I have a friend who has an on-again-off-again (in the most dramatic and ridiculous sense of the term) boyfriend?guy-she's-dating?boy-toy?special-man-friend? who claims he totally seriously asked her to be his valentine.

I have guy friends who claim they will never even try to come close to making a move on a girl on or near Valentine's Day because the holiday has become to superstitiously bad for romance.

I have girl friends who on either end of the extreme; they cry all day on Valentine's Day because they don't have one, or they don't really notice that it is a special holiday.

D-hall Dinner Date went verrrry well last week, by the way. Much better than previous D3s. I'm thinking he could be a potential valentine! But I'm afraid to say so out loud. I just want to celebrate love - brotherly love; familial love; the potential for love - even if it is quietly by myself.

Well, if anyone wants to loudly announce it to the world with me, that's probably okay too.

LOVE! Happy Valentine's Day :)

The D-Hall Date

I mentioned in my last post that I've only ever been on one date in my college career (thus far...keeping my fingers crossed). This is not exactly true. Whether or not it is actually true, I guess, depends on your definition of a date.

According to dictionary.com, a "date" is
"7.a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person: to go out on a date on Saturday night."

While this is true, I think the common use of the term connotes another key ingredient to this whole "dating" thing: feelings/hopes/assumptions of romance.

For many girls I know, whether or not to label a "social appointment" as a date also depends on location. The stereotype of a "real" date is found in movies, TV, and mostly nostalgic ideas of what the 1950s were like: boy meets girl; boy invites girl to dinner by candle light; boy pays for girl.

At JMU, I have arranged "social engagements" with an uncountable number of guys. Most of the time, both of us agree that it is not romantic in nature. A few times, the romance has been felt on one of our sides, but not the other. These are undoubtedly not anyone's ideal "date," not just because of the question of romance, but also the location.

Everyone has to eat, and everyone loves the gloriosity (yeah, so I made up a word, but it's worth it) of D-hall. I have lots of guy friends, and we go to dinner together at D-hall all the time. These are not a dates. D-hall, although lovable, is generally not the most romantic location. The boys do not pay, since I have my own meal plan to use. However, there have been a few occasions where the D-hall date has had the potential of being... a "real" "date."

The first one was my freshman year, via facebook/a mutual friend. He was an older man in an a cappella group (ohhh musicians), and was quite tall. We missed each other the first time, when I was running late and dragging friends with me out of fear of a horror-story situation. The second time, we actually met up, had a decent lunch, some flirting ensued afterwards (he had been in my building visiting the mutual friend while I was out, and they got on my computer and left me scandalous/flirty/hilarious messages via the post-it note program I have on my desktop), but then I never really heard from him after that. I guess it just fizzled. We still see each other awkwardly at random dance parties, where we kind of pretend like we're flirting and it's good to see each other, but we both know that's not really true.

Last year, I had the biggest crush on hottie-across-the-hall (for more recent stuff on him, please see old blog). After we had one particularly amazing night dancing together, we decided to go to dinner. As my suitemates could tell you, after we agreed on a night and time, I bounded into their room squealing like the annoying giddy girl I am. I actually got nervous and planned a cute outfit for this D-hall date. But we went, had sort of awkward conversation that was not at all parallel to the chemistry we shared on the dance floor, ran into hall mates that looked at us quizzically and then quickly began chiding us, and then parted ways after D-hall with no real conclusion or promise of continuation.

This year, I went with a facebook/aim admirer I had (yeah, these all sound like bad ideas, don't they?), against my better judgment. I actually tried to be as unattractive and annoying as possible, instead of just communicating clearly that I was not interested in dating him. Oh well.

And tonight....ohhhh tonight...I have a D-hall date with the cutie I met this weekend. I am nervous, and that is silly. I just hope it turns out better than my last three D-hall "dates."

Gentlemen...

...Where are they?

Supposedly they are either further south or are fighting overseas somewhere.

My mom and her coworker have been conspiring all over Winter Break to get me together with the coworkers "third son," who happens to be friends with my old coworker (who is my mom's coworker's son....are you following this?) and who also happens to be an ROTC boy at a big southern university.

I am not against finding more people to date, especially during what feels like a dry spell of not being constantly surrounded by other college students. However, the more these ladies I love were forcing this arrangement on me, the more uncomfortable I felt. Maybe unnatural is the better word. It felt unnatural to me - I want to be able to do my own dating dirty work!

We finally hung out in a group few nights ago, and yes, he was everything my mom promised he would be - even though I threw a tantrum before hand claiming that he went to a school so far away and since break is over in about three days it was "pointless." Yes, it was a silly argument - and maybe even more. The two boys paid for the three girls that were tagging along with them, and none of whom they were dating.

If that doesn't say southern gentlemanly charm, I don't know what does.

On the other hand, should I be so surprised? Shouldn't I expect, nay, demand such treatment?

I remember around this time last year I went on what may end up being my only real date of my college career. He opened the car door for me when he came to pick me up, when we got to the restaurant, and on the way back. I was flabbergasted, and wouldn't stop bragging to all my girlfriends about this rare find. Why don't more boys do this? And why do girls let the boys who don't get away with it? Should I blame it on women's lib? Yes, I would like a career and to be respected, but I would also like to feel special and dainty! Where is the balance?

This boy was from a slightly more southern city of Virginia and was as tall, if not taller, as ROTC boy, but there similarities end. What is it that makes these boys special? And what is it about them that does not get a spark out of me other than being impressed by their good manners?

I got slightly bored with door-opening boy after our like fifth date. And it was harder to tell with ROTC boy, since we were in a larger group, but I didn't feel an earth-shattering attraction to him like my mom promised I would (this is not to say he was unattractive. In fact, he was quite the hottie). Maybe I was closing myself off from him because of the potential long-distance thing. Or maybe it was the fact that the former coworker, who has a girlfriend, had me laughing up a storm all night.Why? Why didn't I latch on and hold on tight to either of these boys? Are there any musician/comedians who also have a gentlemanly side?

And most importantly, where do I find them? This is the source of all my troubles, and the thing me and my girlfriends talk the most about. Maybe if I wasn't such a girly girl I would actually surround myself with more new and exciting boys to play with.

Or maybe I'll just move south.

The Disease plauging college girls

...And no, it is not an STD.

(even though supposedly JMU surpassed Radford as the Virginia college with the highest STI - isn't that the new, correct term? - rates and two non-JMU-ers would not stop making fun of two of us proud JMU-ers for that last night)

It is an unnamed Disease, one where girls are reduced to the like of tissues, paper plates, standard red drinking cups...pick your own disposable cliche. Although boys are the cause of an original case of the illness, it is highly contagious among women as well - and we all know how close dorm living is.

It is closely related to Competition, commonly found spread among college-aged women too (which I happen to be highly susceptible to), but it is a little different.

Girls generally get it a lot, but it is especially common among college-aged girls, and especially especially JMU girls. Like most liberal arts schools, we have more girls than guys, and our streotype on both ends is really really pretty girls and really really skeevy guys (who all really really like partying really really hard).

Guys want one thing - this is not news to anyone of any generation. But this generation hosts more girls who are willing to give guys only that one thing without demanding anything else. And the rest of us are left without any vague notion of romance in our lives.

If the boys are getting what they want without any effort on their part, what right do we - as self-respecting and self-hoping for some sort of romance/lust/pretending girls - have to demand that boys actually pretend to like us for anything other than our bodies?

So we catch the disease, since the girl down the hall is "dating" some guy, and we want to too - and to be in any sort of competition, we have to give up any expectations. It's okay if we make out and then he doesn't call/IM/say hi in real life for three or four weeks (searching for other options without being tied down) , and then next time he texts its to suggest another make out session. And we say "okay!" because we want to pretend. Pretending is fun and care-free for a while, as long as you are fully aware that you are pretending.

And this disease spreads like wild fire - or the black plauge, or ebola, or mono, again pick your cliche - among hallmates, suitemates, classmates, and friends.

I have had it. I may have it now, I'm not sure (that's another thing about the disease - sometime it masks itself as sexiness or confidence). Can I cure it? Can I help others with it? Duhn duhn duhhhnnn....

Sparkly and New!

I figure the eve of a new year and a new semester is as good as time as any to start a new (more mature?) blog .

My affair with Blogspot began this summer as I rode the metro every day to and from my first full-time job (okay, internship, but still - 40 hours a week!) and gobbled up the Washington Post Express and its witty writing and even wittier mentions of blogs so often hosted on Blogspot. It expanded to reading DCblogs on occassion. And now that I get less and less feedback from my xanga (as I push up my nerd glasses, since me and my friends all got one in high school and I'm the only one that still keeps up with it); I noticed that Blogger is now somehow connected to Google (what isn't connected to google now?); and I already went through a huge change getting a gmail account earlier in this year (I don't adapt to change very well) - I decided it must be fate!

I promise I usually don't write in extreme run-on sentences. Actually they're usually quite short. And hopefully witty.

Anyway, it is winter break, and I plan on writing a lot. All while taking dance classes and searching for summer internships so I don't turn into a lazy bum.

Get excited!